There's Nothing More Beer League Than A Game Stopping Because A Couple Of Teammates Are Throwing Haymakers At Each Other On The Bench
You'll occasionally get some fights on the ice at beer league because you've got a bunch of dudes out there who hate their job, their wife gives them shit at home, their kids don't respect them, and they just show up to the rink at 10:30 every Tuesday night as pissed off with their life as ever. You've got a bunch of ticking time bombs out on the ice, and none of them are actually any good at hockey. All it takes is someone to give them a quick whack to the shins with their stick, and it's on.
But this fight right here is obviously different. For starters, it's teammates going at it on the bench. And when you look at the scoreboard during the fight, clearly there's no chance it has anything to do with something that happened on the ice. It's a 2-1 game in the first period. Nothing has happened in the game to warrant this type of throwdown.
The audio isn't great, and the echos from an empty ice rink certainly don't make it any better. But if you listen closely, you can hear the one fella say something about "Monday" and then "I'll fucking kill you". Not to get too cliche here, but these fellas have to be brawling over a broad. Maybe someone on the team is banging this dude's ex wife. Or even better yet, maybe it's not even his ex yet. Maybe his wife is out here cheating on him with the leading scorer on the team because she wants to know what it's like to be with a man who can actually hit the net.
What do you even do in this situation if you're the team in white? Immediately, I think you gotta send the one dude whose old lady is getting plowed to the dressing room first. He's definitely a risk to trash the entire locker room on his way out, but he's going to be a liability on the ice the rest of the night. And you can't send both of them to the locker room at the same time or else it'll be a bloodbath.
But then moving forward for the rest of the season...there's no way these guys can stay on the same team. Is this beer league organized enough that you could figure out a way to work out a trade? Who do you even trade, though? The dude whose old lady got plowed, or the teammate doing the plowing? My guess is that you're going to want to keep whichever of the guys is the better player, since you can never afford to lose good players in beer league. Personally I think the guy who is doing the plowing here is in the wrong, and the rest of the team wouldn't be able to trust him around their wives either. Maybe he'd be a good guy to move on from. But if he's a wildly better hockey player than the other guy? Well, I guess you could live with the fact that he might bang every wife on the team if he's going to score 3-4 goals a night.
Anyways, I'd love to get an update here at some point. Looks like the team in white is called the Wingmen. So if anybody from the Wingmen is reading this blog right now, let me know how you fellas ended up resolving this one.